Howling at the Twilight
by Loke Groundrunner
Summary: Link reflects on his journey and how much he misses a certain friend. LinkMidna.


I suppose that I should feel proud of myself. I've journeyed across the land, explored dark dungeons rank with evil, made many friends, I've saved countless lives and I've looked darkness straight in the face without flinching. I have faced beasts that would terrify the bravest of men.

I've seen things men would only dream of, things that could mystify you, terrify you, even make you gasp in awe. Any young man would desire the things that have happened to me. I saw a world that was both terrifying and beautiful at the same time, where light and dark mingled together. I wielded the blade of evil's bane; I saved Hyrule from that which threatened it.

Zant, the usurper king of the Twilight Realm and Ganondorf's pawn, was overthrown. Ganondorf, the dark one, met his death with my blade. I saved Zelda, the wise and beautiful princess of Hyrule. I am the savior of two worlds. I am famous and sought after because of my great doings. Everywhere I go, people envy me, they are shocked that one boy could do so many things.

But, despite my accomplishments, I am not satisfied with so great a victory. It feels…. Hollow. Disappointing. Bitter. I've done so much but it feels like it was all for nothing. Because I've lost someone, someone I cared for. She was a friend of mine, perhaps even greater than a friend. Her name… Her name was Midna. She was the Twilight Princess, the ruler of Twilight Realm.

When we first met, I was not exactly in the best of moods, seeing that I had been transformed into a wolf and was locked in a dank cell in Hyrule Castle.

The sight of a sarcastic, smart-mouthed little imp with a deviant smile only angered me more than my current problems. With her help, I escaped the cell but with a price. I was to be her unwilling servant, her knight in furry armor if you will. She was my devious, mocking princess.

I cared nothing about her. She meant nothing to me. I didn't even understand what was happening or why she was so obsessed with finding what she called "Fused Shadows".

At first, it felt like Midna was manipulating me. For all I knew, she may have been in league with the monsters that kidnapped the children and Ilia from Ordon. Maybe she was stringing me along until it was too late to realize I had been tricked.

But now I begin to miss the days when I would take the form of a wolf and Midna would ride on my back. I miss her ambient laugh, her voice, the way she would pat my back and run her small fingers through my dark fur. I miss the way she would hide in my shadow when I was a human; it was strangely…. comforting to know that she was there with me no matter what.

As our journey grew longer, I saw beyond the curse Zant had put on her. It didn't matter that she was small and beastly looking, she was my friend and that's all that mattered to me.

I guess I could say my attraction to Midna began that night Zant ambushed us in Lanayru's Cave. We had just gathered all of the Fused Shadows when it happened; Zant appeared and brutally attacked my companion and I. Once again I found myself as a wolf and Midna was injured gravely.

I remember running through the pouring rain that night, ignoring the countless foes who haunted the lonely roads to the bustling city. As I roamed the city and made my way to the castle, I felt something burning in me like a steady fire, concern; anger over what had happened to my friend. But underneath that anger and concern, I felt yet another undeniable emotion, something I thought I would never feel towards Midna: Friendship. In the beginning I may have despised her, but now all of my hatred had become friendship.

Zelda sacrificed herself that evening to save my companion. After that night, I don't believe Midna was ever the same again. As I said before she didn't care about my world or my people, but the compassion Zelda showed her changed her.

With every passing day, I felt myself growing closer to Midna and I was ashamed to admit it at the time, but I began to find myself attracted to her. It was almost laughable. Me, the Hero destined to save Hyrule from certain doom, was smitten with a little imp.

I'll never forget the rage I had in my heart that fateful day during my battle with Ganondorf when he held up the Fused Shadow Midna wore like a crown. Despite all of her power, she was no match for Ganondorf's might.

My pulse was pounding when the dark lord and I faced off in our final confrontation. The anger I felt was indescribable for all the things this man had done. My only desire at that moment was to kill him, not just for the great evil and suffering he had caused, but for killing Midna, my friend. Yes, I would have loved nothing more than to see his head roll to the ground for what he had done.

I fought with the primal fury I had only knew when I would become a wolf. As I battled Ganondorf, there were moments when it seemed he would win, but even in the moments it felt like I would perish, I would think of Midna. Her memory made me strong, it gave me something worth fighting for.

Finally, I struck him. I put all of my hatred for him and my love for my fallen comrade into one fatal blow and defeated him. Since he showed her no mercy, why should I him?

Ganondorf was gone, but it would not replace the agony of losing my friend. But then, the gods heard my lament and I found Midna atop a hill, alive and well. The curse on her had been broken and I saw her as she truly was.

I was amazed, relieved and overjoyed to see her alive again. At the first sight of her, I thought 'Is this really the imp who used to ride on my back?' She was stunning to say the least. Her hair was fiery like the sunset, her eyes flaming like the setting sun, and her skin was like polished sapphire. I thought I would die that very moment, my world knows not such beauty. I hesitate to say this, but not even Princess Zelda herself is as beautiful as Midna was that day.

Then came the most painful moment of my life, the day Midna would return to her world. I'll never forget the way she looked at me before she entered through the portal, that look of guilt…. Of sorrow and regret that will forever haunt me until the day I die. A look that suggested she had many things to tell but didn't want to.

The Mirror of Twilight was destroyed after she crossed over. Midna once told me the true sign Zant was not the king of the Twili was the fact he could only break the Mirror, not destroy it utterly like she did. Zelda was there with me, she put a supportive hand on my shoulder and told me what Midna did was for the best, because if Ganondorf ever returned or another madman would ever get his hands on the Mirror, both of our worlds would be lost. Those words were true, but I wish things were different.

I knew that Midna loved me, that's what she wanted to tell me, that she loved me too, but why didn't she just say it? Did she worry that Zelda would be jealous, seeing as how I couldn't tear my eyes off of Midna and yet I hadn't even given the crown princess of Hyrule a second glance? Did she feel that I truly belonged with Ilia? Did she not want me to tear myself up over her, knowing that I would never see her again? Did she feel that I would be better off staying in my own world? I felt like running after her, but I couldn't. Every fiber of my being screamed at me to go after her, but I refused. Part of me knew that I could never be with her. That's why I didn't follow her. But part of me feels guilty that I didn't tell her how I felt. I couldn't stop her from going back, but I wish I could have told her before she left me forever.

It's been two weeks, but it feels like a thousand years since I last saw Midna. Every night I dream of her and every morning I awaken with the fear that I'll never see her again. Every day I torment myself over her, about the fact I never told her how much I loved her, how I longed to hold her in my arms, stare into her eyes and to kiss her at least just once.

Existence is agony for me and try as I might to forget about her, everything reminds me of her. Whenever I see a young couple holding hands, I imagine Midna and I standing by the ocean, hands locked together, watching the waves lap against the shore as the setting sun casts a moody glow across the waters. When I look at the stars at night, I see them paint an elaborate tale of the kiss Midna and I will never have.

How my heart yearns to hear her voice again. I don't care how hideous Midna was when she was an imp or how beautiful she was when she became a Twili again; I would love her no matter what. Because that's what true love is, that you love someone beyond their appearance and I would love Midna even if she was the ugliest thing in the world.

I wish I could become a wolf again, I don't feel comfortable as a human anymore. Without her, life has no meaning. I would love to live out the rest of my life as the wolf, to live only to hunt and to howl in the night. To howl at the twilight, to send a grim dirge to that other realm so that maybe by chance my beloved could hear my agony, but it would do no good. The mirror is broken; the world of light is forever separated from the world of twilight.

Zelda said that light and dark cannot exist without each other, and I can't keep on living without my Midna. I may have saved Hyrule, but I feel lower than ever. I can never forgive myself for not telling her how much I loved her. The kiss I so desired, I'll never receive. I'll never know the joy of embracing her, or to look into her blazing eyes and tell her that I love her. I'll never know.

Does Midna torture herself as I do? Does she regret never telling me how much she loved me? Does she cry herself to sleep every night like I do? Will I ever see her again? Will I ever know the feeling of joy to hear her tell me that she loves me? And even if we ever do meet again, what's not to say it will be just a dream?

Every day feels like death to me. The guilt and sadness haunt me every day. I can barely pick myself up to do anything. My eyes constantly sting from tears. Heroes are supposed to be happy, but I'm not. I know I'll never see Midna again, but can't accept it. I have to keep hoping and praying that somehow, someway, I'll see her again one day. And that at last I can tell her that miss her and ultimately that I love her.


End file.
